Learning to Connect

Learning to connect before learning to talk is likened to learning to crawl before learning to walk.  However, most people do not see it this way because cognitive milestones that happen in order to talk are less visible, overall, than motor milestones.

These somewhat hidden achievements I am referring to are called ‘pre-linguistic’ or ‘pre-communication’ skills.

A child cannot use speech and language skills to communicate in a functional way without pre-linguistic skills. When I say ‘functional’, I am referring to appropriate and adaptable ways to communicate.

It is not that a child cannot communicate at all without pre-linguistic skills, because a screaming toddler who throws their food at you is communicating something, albeit in a ‘non-functional’ type of way. 

I want to make it easier for you to see and practice pre-linguistic skills at home, so I have explained some of them below.

What are some pre-linguistic skills? 

Intent: This is when your child points at their milk bottle on the counter because they want it. It does not have to be a nonverbal request, but pointing is a great example of intent. You are connecting because the request involves you.

Shared enjoyment: This is when Daddy does something funny (at least he thinks so), and your child laughs and looks to you to affirm and laugh together. You are connecting and it is enjoyable. 

Social referencing: This is when your child tries to crawl down the steps and they look to you to see if it is okay to do this. You lock eyes, connect, and your little one is learning about the subtleties of communication.

Joint attention: This is when your child looks at the butterfly you pointed to in the picture book, and then shifts their gaze back to you. You are experiencing these moments together and building your connection. 

Persistence: This is when you are not facing your child, and they try to call you to get your attention. They may come up to you and poke at you (hopefully not aggressively) until you turn around. Here, they are trying to connect with you.

Are you starting to see how you can observe pre-linguistic skills in your toddler’s actions? Does your little one need a little bit of growth & practice here before learning to talk?

If you have more questions about your child or would like more assistance, connect with your Speech-Language Pathologist or contact Clearway Speech.

Find ways to support your toddler’s speech and language development through Clearway Speech’s online learning, the ultimate blueprint to Help Your Toddler Talk.